Author: Liz
autumn leaves|bts
As a tribute to one of my favorite BTS songs, I decided to dedicate my first ever song review to ‘고엽’ which can be translated as ‘Dead Leaf’ or ‘Autumn Leaves’. I have loved this song since the first time I listened to it. See, I am the type of person that loves gloomy weather and light thunderstorm sound in the background as I read or write with a mug of hot chocolate in my hand. For an unknown reason, I associate ‘Autumn Leaves’ with gloomy weather and cuddling in a corner of a cozy bed. If gloomy weather had a sound, it would probably sound like this song to me, or like ‘Save Me’ (also a BTS song.) In addition, I love how the composers of the song described the circumstance and the feelings they tried to portray with this song. The way it is described made me feel what the person in the song is going through throughout the song. Also, the comparison of the person’s essence to a dry leave is compelling to me. In this post, I will break down the song in parts and share my interpretation of the lyrics.
I wrote this analysis at my University library as I appreciated the gloomy weather. I never invested my time into analyzing this song previously, so I have been *shook* all day by all the crazy theories my brain creates as I put keywords/interpretations together. I hope this suited your taste. I promise I’ll get better with time. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. ^^
Note: I won’t use the romanized lyrics because I find it unuseful and I also do not recommend anyone who is learning Korean to study using romanization. I will only use English lyrics.
고엽 – Autumn Leaves
[Verse 1: Jin, Jungkook]
Fall like those dry leaves
Just falling without strength, my love
Your heart just goes far away
I can’t catch you
I can’t catch you anymore, anymore
I can’t hold onto you, yeah
[Verse 1: Jin, Jungkook] The song begins with Jin and Jungkook expressing the impotence they feel for not being able to catch the person they love anymore. Maybe the person has changed and they are still trying to get the person back or they lost their strength to love each other.
[Verse 2: Suga]
Those fallen leaves that look so insecure
Seem like they’re looking at us
If I touch your hand, even if it’s all at once
It seems like it’ll all become crumbs
I only looked
With the autumn wind
Your words and expressions that become cold at some point
I can see that our relationship is fading
An empty relationship like the autumn sky
An ambiguous difference compared to before
Today of all days, the much quieter night
One leaf left clinging to a branch
It’s shattering, I see the end
Dead leaves becoming dried
The silence inside your aloof heart
Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me, crumbling dead leave
[Chorus: Jungkook, Jimin, V]
I want the you that meets my eyes
I want the you that wants me again
Please don’t leave me
Please don’t fall
Never never fall
Don’t go far away
[Post-Chorus: Jungkook, Jin]
Baby you, girl I can’t let you go
Baby you, girl I can’t give up on you
Like those falling dry leaves
This love, like dry leaves
Never never fall
It’s fading
[Verse 3: RM]
Like all the dry leaves fall
Like all the things I thought would last forever are leaving
You are my fifth season
Even if I try to see you, I can’t look
You’re still green to me
Even if the heart doesn’t move, it moves by itself
Lingering feelings hung out piece by piece like laundry
Only crimson memories fall
From above me
Even if my branch doesn’t shake
They constantly fall
Right, my love must fall
In order to rise
Even when you’re near, my two eyes
Are far away, it’s happening
I’m being thrown away like this
Inside my memories, I become young again
[Interlude: V]
Never, never fall yeah
Never, never fall yeah
[Chorus: Jimin, Jungkook, Jin]
I want the you that meets my eyes
I want the you that wants me again
Please don’t leave me
Please don’t fall
Never never fall
Don’t go far away
[Bridge: V]
Why can’t I give up on you yet
I hold on to these faded memories
Is this greed?
I try to look back on these lost seasons
I try to turn back
[Verse 4: J-Hope]
Burn them brightly, whoosh
It was all beautiful, right, our path
But they’ve all faded
Dry leaves come down like tears
The wind blows and everything grows apart all day
The rain is falling and you’re shattering
Until the very last leaf, you you you
[Chorus: Jungkook, Jimin, V]
I want the you that meets my eyes
I want the you that wants me again
Please don’t leave me (Oh)
Please don’t fall (Yeah)
Never never fall
Don’t go far away
[Post-Chorus: Jungkook, Jin]
Baby you, girl I can’t let you go
Baby you, girl I can’t give up on you
Like those falling dry leaves
This love, like dry leaves
Never never fall
It’s fading
[Outro: V]
Never never fall
Never never fall
[Verse 2: Suga] Suga begins his verse by pointing out the fragile reflection of their relationship (the fallen leaves, seem to be looking at us.)
He plays a lot with the characteristics of Autumn and the transition from Summer to Winter. Autumn is “the fall of the year” where trees shed their leaves, the temperature is cold and everything is warm colors.
He compares Fall weather as “the fall” of their relationship that fades like the crumbles of their love (dead leaves) in the wind. Suga conveys the vulnerability of the situation as well.
“An ambiguous difference compared to before” They are caught in the change of how they used to be and how they are now. (Summer-Autumn-Winter) I analyzed this part as Suga or their relationship is a leaf that is holding onto hope to find life again, but there is nothing he/they can do.
[Chorus: Jungkook, Jimin, V] They want the person he/she was before(Summer) this horrible state he/she finds himself/herself now(Autumn). They beg the person not to fall because if not he/she will vanish.
[Post-Chorus: Jungkook, Jin] They are in denial of the possibility of losing the person that they love so much. They are comparing again how their love is falling and crumbling(Fall season) but they don’t want to accept it. As much as they try to hold onto their love throughout the song, their love keeps felling.
[Verse 3: RM] Namjoon states right away his agony and grief, but most importantly his disappointment for the things that never stayed by him.
Here, Namjoon says the person is his “fifth season”, there are only four seasons (Spring, Summer, Autumn (fall) and Winter.)
He has a more positive perspective on the situation. He says she will always be green to her no matter the situation.
He emphasizes on his memories and compares them to Fall colors. He is vulnerable (the leaves fall without the branch being shaken) and is in constant fear of falling from the branches (feelings) he is holding onto. Even if nothing is causing trouble in him, his leaves keep falling.
Then again he shows a bit of hope, but suddenly shatters when he sees it happening in front of him. The moment where he falls like a dead leave in his memories.
[Interlude: V] In the interlude, V is basically begging the person not fall or probably he’s begging to himself.
[Chorus: Jimin, Jungkook, Jin]
They re-state that they want the person they met before. They beg the person to not leave him and that made me think about the coldness towards them (I want the you that wants me again) that they mentioned prior to this.
[Bridge: V] This line made me realize that he is the person that wants to hold onto what they had. Probably, the person left him a long time ago, but he can’t help to want to keep loving that person, so he holds onto the memories they had before autumn (where everything changes.) Maybe he is begging to his memories and feelings he experienced with his love not to fade and vanish from his memory. That’s what he wants to hold on to, even though it is working against him.
[Verse 4: J-Hope] J-Hope opts for burning their memories even though it was a beautiful experience. He doesn’t think it’s worth to keep the memories when they’re all faded. He knows holding onto those memories will hurt him. The wind, probably a symbol of life, keeps pushing them apart, the person fades more and more every day.
[Chorus: Jungkook, Jimin, V] They repeat one more time the plead to the person. The style of the song is interesting (the chorus is repeated various times, this has an effect in the meaning of the song. It reflects the increment of the desperation they are feeling.
[Post-Chorus: Jungkook, Jin] They confess they can’t stop holding onto their love, even if it is just faded memories of what they use to be. Their love is almost extinguished.
[Outro: V] Out of desperation, he reminds the person to never fall, to not give into the wind. Another perspective could be, he’s reminding himself to never fall because he is responsible for his significant other or to remember that it is worth to hold onto his memories of love for his significant other.
….what living in Korea will be like?
I am from Puerto Rico, a small island from the Carribean and U.S.A territory. We are a small colony with an interesting cultural history. A ridiculously tragic cultural history. My culture differs greatly from Korean culture and despite me being confident about adapting quickly to Korean customs, I have my fears. I worry that I won’t be able to adapt fully to the life I want to live there. For example, the pollution problem in Korea is serious. They blame Chinese factories for the increment of pollution in Korea, but Korea also plays a significant role in this situation. I was doing some research on the polluted air over Seoul and I found out that Chinese factories are in fact NOT to blame for the environmental issues in Korea. Korea is responsible for poor air quality that is heavily increasing health issues among its population. If you’re interested and would like to research more, here is a link where a native Korean female talked about this (she also attached a link to her post, but it’s in Korean) topic 2 years ago. Here in PR, we are affected by the Saharan dust storms. It affects us but is not as problematic or dangerous as polluted air. It is hard, especially for people like me that suffer from sinusitis, but it is bearable and we don’t have to wear masks whenever we go out. I am not accustomed to wearing masks, not even when I’m sick. I don’t even check the weather app, because it is pointless to do so on a tropical island where it is always hot and only on some rare occasions a little bit cold. That is the only factor that I’m dreading to experience already.
The thought of being a foreigner in another country that I have never been before being scary. I am constantly traveling to the U.S, but I don’t feel like it is strange for me nor I feel like a foreigner, (the problem of PR’s colonial status kicks in, haha). Also, I visited Canada once in a school trip, but it was cool and it didn’t feel like a completely different culture. Obviously, the difference between what I am accustomed to where there, but it wasn’t trouble. However, I have never been to any Asian country, so I think it’ll be a mix of nervousness, excitement, and curiosity to explore and wander around a new place I’ve never been before. I have eaten Korean food and I am 100000000% sure I can eat it every day without getting tired of it. (Korean food is ridiculously good. Like, seriously? *cries in Korean* ㅠ_ㅠ) I have heard about foreigner discrimination in Korea is very common. I have never found myself in a situation where I have felt discriminated and knowing the kind of person I am (looking tough on the outside but over sensitive in the inside), I worry that if something ever occurred to me, I let it get to me… but I know I will do fine.
In conclusion, the cultural shock will always be there, for sure. However, I don’t think it’ll be as shocking for me than other people. I have researched for almost 2 years about Korean culture enough to feel confident in my decision, but anything can happen. I am a person that can adapt to situations and different environments quickly. I have lived a beautiful but rollercoaster-ish kind-of life. Even though I like to be in a status quo as much as I can, I have learned I cannot live that way. At least not now that I’m a college student. So I am very confident in plans, but I don’t want to be overly confident and mess up big time. Taking things slowly and researching thoroughly, is what will keep me afloat and with hope for now. Because the next step is the life-changing step.
-1:18 p.m february 20th, 2019
the journey begins right now
Truth is I have been postponing to publish this blog that I have customized for a while now. I have always wanted to run a blog but didn’t think my life was interesting enough to share it out with everyone. However, I have made a pact with myself to stop pushing back ideas and desires of my heart that I have had in me for so long. I recognize it has been fear, among other things, that have held me back from executing my ideas instead of dreaming and dreaming and dreaming of that someday doing them. Before I begin, I’ll give you some insight into how I understood what I wanted in life.
Ever since my friends showed me NCT U’s ‘7th sense’ MV around October of 2016, my life changed and I didn’t realize how much until a few days ago. I was a hardcore ‘Directioner’ and after 1D went on an undefined hiatus and Zayn left 1D, I had nothing to do, at all. I would listen to music, but nothing would reach my expectations or would satisfy my taste. It was in my last year of high school when I was properly introduced to Kpop. I remember my friend Natasha, which doesn’t give up without a fight, begging me to listen to a new song that came out earlier that year. I knew it was Kpop related and she knew I didn’t like it (or that’s what I thought), but she insisted and I gave in with a condition. If I didn’t like the first minute into the song, I wouldn’t watch the rest. I ended up going through more videos, even though I couldn’t understand anything. I couldn’t even search for a K-pop video on YouTube. Even though my friends and my cousin listened to Kpop, I always rejected listen to it. Mostly because I couldn’t understand a word and I was highly unpleased with anything Asian-related. (No offense! Forgive my ignorance.)
I officially converted to Kpop around BTS’s first week of promotion for BS&T (a.k.a Jimin’s birthday). I had listened to BTS even before I knew who they were. However, I was introduced to EXO, Big Bang, Shinee, and other groups before BTS. For me, it was an immediate connection with the guys. I remember clicking random videos on youtube that I couldn’t understand and binge-watching their videos. It was a struggle. I didn’t know who was who… it was di- ffi- cult. Their own individual stories, their concepts, and their meaningful lyrics spoke to me. I found myself immersed in their stories and content. I tried to listen to other groups, but I would find myself going back to their albums. I am the kind of person that if I like a song, I will listen to it until I get tired of it, which only happens on rare occasions. The same thing happens with food, products, people, etc. Unlike my friends and most people, I never get tired of something easily. That helped me to understand more and more Korean until it wasn’t Kpop or Korean music my main focus.
I was in a transition phase in my life from High School to College. I had to make a decision. I knew I wanted to study something related to writing, so I chose to be an English major. Kpop affected my life positively in the sense of changing my perspective of what I wanted to accomplish with my bachelor’s degree. At first, I wanted to be an Editor, I still want the experience to work as an Editor. However, the viewpoint of my future changed. Now, I not only want to be an Editor but I also want to travel and work abroad. Instead of working from an office all day, I want to explore the world and work in something that I love. I have never considered working as a teacher or getting my BA in English Education. I’m not discarding the option either because it is an open door for me to find a job abroad. Ever since my first year of college, a passion for foreign languages and cultures surged in me. I had known through my life that was interested in English, but I didn’t know how passionate I was about languages and cultures until my freshman year of college. That’s what has inspired me up till now.
The purpose of this blog is to document my life from the begging of the process of achieving my most desired dreams. I want to remember where I was, where I am and where I’ll be. As I read in a quote a long time ago, I’m learning to allow the space where I want to be and where I am to inspire me and not to terrify me. I don’t want to keep dreaming about where I want to be and what I want to achieve. It is better said than done. But I’m ready for what God has in store for me. I want Him to lead the way in my life. I am working hard for my dreams and goals, and in His name, I will be able to achieve them.
Thank you,
Liz xx ^^
wandering seㅇul 